Still Stuck on the Thanksgiving Theme…

As I sit and sip my Earl Grey tea, I feel compelled to write about some of the other wonderful aspects of my current life for which I am grateful (in addition to the world of CNBC blogging, of course). So in no particular order here I go…

I am grateful for:

Smart Wool socks.  Generally, I do not have trouble keeping warm–with hot flashes and all–but, if my feet get cold all bets are off.  I appreciate my Smart Wool socks several times a day.  They are made of Merino wool, so they are not scratchy and feel oh so good on my feet.  By the way, if you are in the market for a holiday gift, these could be your ticket.  May I suggest crew or 3/4 crew height and medium cushion?

Our boy Elroy.  Here is a picture of him as a puppy.  He has bandages on his back legs because his dew claws were removed shortly before I rescued him.  His boundless enthusiasm, energy, and affection light up our lives.

My Man.  We have been married for almost 11 years, and have survived job changes, several moves,  family member and pet losses, my illness and hysterectomy, and much more.  I adore his sexy phone voice, his fine taste in wine, his thoughtfulness and generosity, his loyalty to friends and family, his sense of humor, his cute boyish looks, and the way he still looks at me, and more, of course.

Our lake property.  We recently purchased 5 acres of lake-front land about an hour and a half from where we live.  Here is a picture of some of it and our architect.  Someday we will build a small storybook cottage here.  For now, we pitch a tent overlooking the lake where we can hide from the evening mosquitoes and listen to the loons in the early morning.

My job.  I feel incredibly fortunate to have had the opportunity to return to research in a biochemistry lab after teaching high school chemistry for 12 years.  Now, I loved teaching too.  I had some amazing students, many of whom I still remain in contact through Facebook.  I was selected as Teacher of the Year (the only one of two to ever be selected at that school as far as I know) and was christened “Doc Has.”  My reason for returning to research is a topic for a whole other post, but suffice it to say, life in the lab has been awesome.  My colleagues are fun, supportive, hard working, bright, and make the worst days better than pleasant.

My friends and family–from my hairdresser to my identical twin sister, D.  My sister D is just a phone call away, and I know she will understand my situation with just a few words from me.  We have been through so much together, and she will always be my partner in crime.  She is the one who rescued me from Endometriosis/Adenomyosis/Fibroid hell when after an unfortunate year of writhing pain, bad doctors, and Lupron, she convinced me to see her doctor several states away, who eventually performed my hysterectomy and restored my sanity.

Music.  I am not sure I could survive without music.  I love my internet radio stations, Slacker and Radioio.  Radioio’s Eclectic station was my introduction to internet radio, and over the years has introduced me to a plethora of new artists who have added dimensions to my life.  I am so addicted to internet radio that I bought a portable speaker that plays my stations via Bluetooth from my cell phone in my car.  My car is a 2001 Honda Insight that still gets 55 mpg and was my first brand new car, but due to its age, does not get satellite radio, so my hodge-podge speaker/Bluetooth/cell phone system works for me.  I also have a Logitech Squeezebox hooked up to our home stereo system so I can listen to Slacker or Radioio while I cook and/or when we entertain.

Books and the Internet.  Wow, what can I say?  Through books and the internet I can explore whole other worlds.  I read regularly (I am currently reading The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh, which I recommend), and reading can almost be as good as a lovely vacation–on second thought, maybe I am overstating my love of books a bit, but you get what I mean…

Therapy.  My emotional toolbox has many more tools in it than it did when I first left home as a teenager.  These tools allow me the ability to maneuver and navigate tricky terrain with skill.  I have choices that I didn’t even know existed pre-therapy (are choices really choices if you don’t know they exist?).

I am grateful for everything on this list and so much more.  There have been some really dark moments, but they have been definitely out-numbered by stupendous moments of sheer joy.

 

Share

Thanksgiving, One Day Late

Yesterday was Thanksgiving here in the States.  My honey-brined turkey, cranberry apple relish, garlic red-skinned mashed potatoes, creamy giblet gravy and Italian sausage with sourdough bread stuffing were well worth all the work I did preparing them.  As fun as all that was, I am a firm believer that any day can be Thanksgiving, and that one sure way to hop off of the hedonic treadmill is to stop and pause to be grateful for all of the things you do have.  With that being said, I am not a Pollyanna, and as I often remind my DH I am quite capable of feeling two or more emotions at the same time.  For instances, he used to be horrified and angry when I would say something offensive in response to hearing about yet another friend of ours getting pregnant.  I would then firmly tell him that a part of me was very happy for them and another part was very unhappy for me.  So I let myself stop and pause, enjoy and feel grateful for even random things like wonderful smells, or bird songs, I also let myself feel sad over loss, and grieve.  The kaleidoscope of emotions are part of what make me both human and real, and  I refuse to shut off half of them just to be “nice” or “pleasant.”  On the same token, I don’t feel that he (or anyone else for that matter) should feel the obligation to “take care of” me or my emotions (although it is awfully nice when someone takes the time to really listen and/or is supportive).  They just are, and sometimes, when it seems appropriate,  I choose to share them, especially with people with whom I am close.

You may be wondering where I am going with all of this… At the risk of sounding effusive or redundant (because I have already said similar things on my “More About Me” and “Why Beef Princess?” pages), I have to say I am incredibly grateful for this blog and the comments people are leaving on it and the blogs of all of the other women I regularly read.  I am not sure I even realized how lonely and disenfranchised I felt until the flood of relief that hit and engulfed me recently.  I am so damned glad I got up the gumption to start commenting on other blogs and start my own blog.  As we all know most people just “don’t want to hear about IT”—IT being taboo subjects like, but certainly not limited to, infertility, miscarriage, illness, hysterectomy, (not that I want to hear about others go on and on about their pregnancy, kids, grand kids, pregnancy either, but at least the folks who want to discuss those topics will easily find some company, whereas it’s generally more difficult for folks wanting to discuss the taboo subjects).

So, although a part of me is still often sad, another part of me is elated and utterly Thankful.

Share